Never-ending cycle

The other week I met a woman whose story made a huge impact on me. Hundreds of thousands of women around the world are experiencing the very same thing as she does – perhaps millions of women.

‘I am stuck in this situation’

She agreed to tell me her story on condition of anonymity, so let’s call her Maria.

She told me how she arrived in a new country a few years ago – no family, no visa, no accommodation, no relatives, no language, no income, nothing.” She was lured into the sex trade, where she was later forced to marry a man she didn’t know.
It wasn’t long after this that her husband started abusing her, and since then the insults, humiliation and beatings have continued.

“I don’t feel I’m treated like a human being,” she said. “I just want to leave this situation and live in peace with my daughter”, whom she hasn’t seen for 4years.

Maria told me she does not feel she can leave her husband as she does not have a job or money and speaks very little English. “I am stuck in this situation because I don’t know what to do, where to go.”

“I live in constant fear and worry and don’t know where to turn. With lack of funds there is little option to break out from the situation I am in, you are trapped in what feels like a never-ending, dark cycle.”

It’s time we listened to women like Maria – and not only listen – what is so badly needed to create change is action.  Action both on political and individual levels. That’s how we genuinely and truly can show women like Maria that we care, that they are not alone in their situation.

Not a one-sided problem

The gender equality agenda has been led by the women’s movement for decades. Women and girls have benefited immensely from this relentless advocacy and activism. We must and will continue our efforts.
But this is not just a one-sided problem or a one-sided task – so we can’t look for solutions only to the one side – we won’t find them there. This will take joint action and joint advocacy.

The engagement and involvement of men and boys – the other half of humanity – is needed to end discrimination against women and achieve gender equality in society.

We need men to speak out against all forms of discrimination, and to speak out against sexism, abuse and violence.

We need men to take action to stop violence against women, to refuse to be by-standers, but instead to be vocal and take action to show that abusive behaviour is not ok.

We need men to challenge gender stereotypes and to be positive role models in their families and communities.

We need to find new ways that are truly transformative. New visions, new ideas, new ways.

I believe that all forms of oppression are interconnected. Social justice work in the areas of race, class, gender, age and sexual orientation are all critical to ending violence against women.

We need governments and politicians, church leaders and social authorities, to go beyond just words or the ‘no-response-attitude’. We have to change the narrative because what is being done (or not being done!) in society is not working. We need action. We need a new route.