The table shows some of the warning signs, behaviours and situations that characterize a relation containing abuse. Perpetrators of abuse are often very clever and manipulative and often blame you as a victim.
You are YOU and if you feel that you have to change who you are to make a partner or someone else happy, then it is a warning bell. Remember that abuse is never your fault! It is everyone’s human right to live a life free from any form of violence and abuse.
To break out of a violent and abusive relationship can be a difficult process. But we all need to pull together to inform and to be alert for warning signs such as these in our own lives as well as in the lives of our friends and relatives, and so that vulnerable women get to know their rights and so that they know that someone out there cares and listens and take their situation seriously. Physical, emotional, sexual and psychological abuses are criminal acts!
We have to dare to see the problems of domestic violence in society and to dare to bring it up in the light. The responsibility to do so lies with us all – it’s not just a problem for those abused, but for all of society, women as well as men.
Some of the major roads to find solutions is to engage all those who stand on the sidelines. Neighbours, relatives, friends, acquaintances, work colleagues, school friends… That we dare to see, that we dare to listen, dare to bother, dare to reach out…
One of the biggest problems today is that there are too many holes in society’s safety net where too many of the vulnerable women fall through – without being heard, without being seen, without being helped.
Together we must begin to dare. Dare to challenge the norms of society in terms of violence, power and masculinity. We must dare to change. And above all we must dare to act together – both on an individual level and on a larger social level. Each of us can play an incredibly important role in a single woman’s abusive and vulnerable situation.
Social contacts are often lost when you live in an abusive relationship, whether it’s about control, fear or lack of money.
Friends, relatives, etc. often eventually stops to keep in touch when they think you don’t care, or they think you don’t want any contact because they never hear from you, you don’t respond to text messages etc.. – But when what it’s all about is not having the money to top up the phone or you’re unable to pay for a coffee if you go out to meet up with friends.
Social contacts are broken down and the isolation, lack of money, fear and lost friendships often becomes a giant Catch22.
As a friend or family member we must be vigilant for these kinds of signals, reach out a hand, have a listening ear and do not be afraid to ask if everything is ok. To be there for the abused woman.
Men and women as allies in creating a culture of respect and non-violence. Our mission is to foster a culture of empowerment, non-violence and connection.
MY SISTER'S VOICE ~ Support. Connect. Empower. 